kmomof12's Blog

I know I've thought it before with Olivia (who was suppose to be our last one).  This time though it's for real.  I am officially done with babies of my own  :o(  (grandbabies are another thing and not too far into the future).  Sean turns 1yo today, rolling off the infant stage and crawling into the toddler arena. 

I'm excited about what's ahead for him.  I love to see him explore, learn and mature.  It seems like he's drinking in things at an unbelieveable rate.   I can't take the smile off my face as I watch him.  And watch him I do since he hardly sleeps.   I'm always saying it's a good thing he's the smartest and cutest baby in the whole wide world!  Otherwise I'd have sent  him back a looong time ago!

I'm trying to grab  hold of and keep each moment with him.  Not because he's my last, but because he's mine.  This time is so short,  before I know it, it'll all be gone.  He'll have places to go, things to do and people to see.   He won't believe it when I remind him that he needed me to hold him  24/7, even as he slept.  That he was too cautious to take his first step even though he could do it no problem.   Yet he could climb to the top of anything...no matter  how high, without an ounce of caution.  Hanging off the side or teetering on the edge with me on the verge of a heart attack.   

While part of me wants to look back and think of what I'll be missing.  A larger part of me is looking forward to what is ahead of us...the adventures, the happy times, the heartaches, the mistakes.   Things that would seem to break us but make us stronger.  Things that you wish you could live without but know you can't.  Things you wish you could live with forever but are fleeting. 

Life's continual motion and energy...I remember there being times when I've thought...how can it go on?  Like after the deaths of my in laws or Carrie's cancer diagnosis.   I thought...How can these people keep going like everything is the same?  Why can't everything just stop and let me catch up?  It's THAT push to go on and never stop that makes us get through those tough times.   Life is good!